Tag: god

Healing from Church Hurt

                  The term “church hurt” is relatively new.  A broad definition would be “the emotional, spiritual, or psychological pain caused by negative experiences within a church community, such as mistreatment, abuse, or betrayal by leaders or members.”  I have heard stories from many who have experienced church hurt at various levels.  The trauma inflicted can cause people to stay away from church or walk away from the Lord altogether.  Church hurt can happen to anyone in a church, and it can come from anyone in the church.  Even though the term “church hurt” is new, the experience is not new.  The good news is that wounds can heal.  Scars may last a lifetime, but the wounds can heal.

                  I have seen healing firsthand.  My family and I have experienced church hurt at a deep level.  A year and a half ago, there was a small group in our church who did not like our missions and ministry efforts.  They used their power and positions, and I was given a choice – be fired with no severance, or resign with severance and health insurance. I had three men in my office demanding my resignation.  I was not allowed to pray about it or discuss it with my wife. I had to decide right then.  We have five children, two in college and one with Type 1 Diabetes.  So, I signed the resignation letter.  A condition of my severance was that it would end if my wife or I spoke any negative words about the church or any church member.  I had learned about their deceptiveness; I even saw a video where two people were plotting to fire me.  All manner of lies were told about us, but I could say nothing, or I would be without a severance or health insurance.  We were cut off from our church family and could not speak about what happened.

                  We did the only thing we knew to do, we went to God’s Word.  In John 6, Jesus had some hard teachings, and some people walked away from Him. They didn’t want to follow Him any longer.  John 6:67-68 records this interaction between Jesus and the Twelve, “So Jesus said to the twelve, ‘Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”  When we were at a loss, we knew there was nowhere else and no one else we could turn to. We felt like Peter. No one else had the words of life, but Jesus.

Healing is Possible

                  If you have experienced church hurt, it’s crucial to know that healing is possible!  The church is the bride of Christ.  But it is made up of people.  People hurt people.  People abuse others.  It has happened since Cain killed Abel, and it will continue to happen until Christ establishes a new Heaven and a new Earth.  In the process of healing, it’s important to remember that you were hurt by a person (or group of people).  It can be hard to separate that from “the church.” We call it “church hurt”, but we’re really hurt by other people within the church.  Paul reminds us that our enemy is not flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12).  The enemy uses people to harm us, but the people themselves are not the enemy.  Our enemy knows the power of the local church. Jesus said, “The gates of hell cannot prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18).  Because of that, the enemy does all he can to disrupt the work of the local church and discourage people from being part of the church.

                  The Scriptures are filled with words of hope and encouragement that can bring healing when you have been hurt by someone else.  Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  In Matthew 28:20 Jesus promises, “Behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  We are reminded to come to Jesus for our healing!  He does not leave us alone.

Jesus Predicted Trouble

                  In the healing journey, it is helpful to know that Jesus predicted trouble for us.  In Matthew 13:24-30, Jesus tells the parable of the wheat and the weeds.  He explained the parable in verses 36-43.  He said that the enemy will sow weeds among the wheat.  He tells us that we cannot determine if something is wheat or a weed…only God can do that.  They will, however, look the same.  It is not our job to decide what is wheat and what is a weed.  Our job is to be aware that there are weeds among the wheat. Jesus predicted that within the church, there will be those who look like believers, but they are not. Again, it is not our job to distinguish between the two. Only God knows of someone else’s salvation.  In Matthew 7:15, Jesus says there will be wolves in sheep’s clothing. Jesus warns that some will look harmless, but are on a mission to destroy.  In John 16:33, just before He was arrested, Jesus said to His disciples, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

                  Jesus told us that we would have trouble in this life.  He told us that we would be hurt in this life.  It is not at all pleasant when it happens; however, we must remember that Jesus said it would happen.  The religious leaders who crucified Jesus thought they were doing what God wanted them to do.  The Apostle Paul, before he was converted to Christ, was a persecutor of the church.  He too, assumed he was doing right.  In the Old Testament, the prophets used by God were all mistreated.

Paul Warned of Trouble

                  The Bible not only tells us of Jesus’ predictions for trouble, but the Apostle Paul also warned Timothy of difficulties and troubles.  Timothy was a pastor, and Paul was writing to encourage him in his ministry.  In 2 Timothy 3:1-9, Paul gives Timothy a lengthy list of the behaviors he will encounter in the church.  He says, “people will be lovers of self, lovers of money,  proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people (2 Timothy 3:1-5).  He tells Timothy that in the church, people will appear godly but not demonstrate the power of God in their lives.  In chapter 4, he tells Timothy to preach the Word of God even though some people won’t want to hear it.  Paul had experienced trouble within the church, and he warns us all that it can happen. Not everyone who appears godly, loves Jesus. Paul warned Timothy that his message would not always be well-received in the church.

Learn to Leave it in God’s Hands

                  In the process of healing, you must leave it in God’s hands.  In Genesis chapter 37, Joseph’s brothers, led by Judah, concoct a plan to sell him into slavery and tell their father he was killed.  Chapter 38 tells what later happened to Judah.  His two oldest sons died unexpectedly, and his own sin with his daughter-in-law brought shame and humiliation on himself.  Chapter 39 picks back up with the story of Joseph.  God certainly used Joseph and his brothers’ sin, but Judah paid a high price for his misdeeds.  Joseph knew nothing at the time of what happened in Judah’s family. All he knew was his predicament due to the brothers’ sin.  In 2 Timothy 4:14, Paul says, “Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; the Lord will repay him according to his deeds.”  We don’t know what Alexander did, or what the repayment was, but Paul knew to leave it in the Lord’s hands.  In Galatians 6:7, Paul says, “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”

                  We must also remember that we all have sinned.  In 1 John 1:8, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”  Each of us has sinned.  Sometimes we have hurt others.  We might be the cause of their church hurt!  But, keep in mind the very next verse 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  If you have sinned against someone, confess it to God, be forgiven, and do what you can to make amends.  Deal in honesty.  One of the hallmarks of abusive church hurt is dishonesty.  Church abusers do not want accountability.  Wolves bite and devour and do not want to answer questions for their behavior.

Live With Eternity in View

                  As you journey in healing, keep eternity in view.  As followers of Christ, we are called to live in the reality of eternity.  We know there is life after death because Jesus promised it!  In 2 Timothy 4:8, as Paul is nearing the end of his life, he says, “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”  He was serving Jesus, knowing there would be an eternal reward.  In Matthew 5:11-12 in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”  Keep eternity in perspective in this life.  Keep your focus on Jesus and what He has called you to do.  If others have mistreated you, leave that up to the Lord.  If you have mistreated someone, ask for forgiveness.

Heal in Community

                  Perhaps the hardest part of healing from church hurt is that the best place to heal is in community with other believers.  It has been said that “hurt people, hurt people.” It’s also true that “healed people, heal people.” Where else to find healed people, than in a local church! It is like balm to a weary soul to be with other followers of Jesus in genuine community.  It is a reminder that there are healthy churches to grow and serve in.  The Lord brought our family much healing through a new church family at FBC Pell City. It was a 12-month period with such healing! He is continuing to bring healing at Copperfield Church!  1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to “encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”  In Hebrews 10:24-25, we are reminded to meet with the body of believers for encouragement, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”

When you gather with other believers in church, have the mindset to encourage someone.  You may never know the healing they need.  You also don’t know what it can do for you to serve someone else in the midst of your pain.  It might be a familiar face or a new friend, but they may need the encouragement you can bring to their lives.  Church hurt is real.  Church hurt causes wounds.  But with the Lord and with His people, those wounds can heal.  The scars may remain, but Jesus will never leave you.

Church hurt is real. It is painful. The very people you were living in community with, the very people who were to love you as family are the ones who brought harm to you. But you cannot let the actions a few cause you to walk away from Jesus. He has the words of life! You cannot let the actions of a few cause you to never serve Jesus in his church again. About the church, Jesus said the gates of hell cannot prevail against it. If you’re hurting, look to Jesus, journey on a path to heal!

Living for eternity

As followers of Jesus, we know there is life after the grave.  Jesus demonstrated that with His resurrection.  Though we still live in the here and now, we must live in light of eternity.  This is the challenge of being a Christian…living for eternity.  Theologians refer to it as the “already and not yet.”  We have been redeemed and adopted, but we won’t see the fulfillment of it until we see Him face to face.  In the meantime, we live within the reality of the “not yet”.

A single blog post cannot capture this in full, but one passage of Scripture drives this home.  King David, in Psalm 21 helps us to see this.  Here is just a portion of the chapter, verses 1-7:

O Lord, in your strength the king rejoices,
    and in your salvation how greatly he exults!
2 You have given him his heart’s desire
    and have not withheld the request of his lips. Selah
3 For you meet him with rich blessings;
    you set a crown of fine gold upon his head.
4 He asked life of you; you gave it to him,
    length of days forever and ever.
5 His glory is great through your salvation;
    splendor and majesty you bestow on him.
6 For you make him most blessed forever;
    you make him glad with the joy of your presence.
7 For the king trusts in the Lord,
    and through the steadfast love of the Most High he shall not be moved.

David was the king.  This meant he was the most powerful, most wealthy man in the kingdom.  He had need of nothing.  Anything he wanted, he could have.  Any demand he made, was fulfilled.  He was in full control.  However, King David, knows that his strength is from the Lord.  He knows the Lord is the ultimate giver of strength, gifts, blessings, riches, and life itself.  David knew there was something more than just this life.  He knew that God was the giver of all things.

On earth, the king answered to no person.  Yet David knew that he answered to the Lord.  In verse 7 he says, “the king trusts in the Lord.”  King David put his trust in the Lord.  Not in himself, his riches, his possessions, his blessings, or anything else in this life.

We are not kings like David.  However, may the Lord strengthen us to put our full trust and hope in the Lord.  May we live with the understanding there is life after the grave and eternity is a long time.

Car parts and God’s timing.

God’s provision is amazing.  The word “provision” comes from Latin and means “to see beforehand.”  God the Provider can see beforehand.  On September 14th, Carter had come home from college for the weekend.  As he parked his car, the shifter would not go into park.  The car turned off, but we were unable to start the car again.  We had to call a tow truck to get the car to the garage.  We have been going through a lot in recent months.  Have you ever thought, “could one more thing go wrong?”  We sure have!  When Carter went back to school, he had to take Matthea’s car.  He has a job at school and needs transportation.  Matthea had to start using Caleb’s car to get to work.  I had to take Caleb and the younger two kids to school.  Caleb and Christian had band practice every afternoon, Caleb has a job to get to.  Every day was so much juggling of who was driving who to what location and at what time.  Along with that, someone had to be home when the 7-year-old got home from school. 

Back to the car.  At first, we thought it would be a repair covered under a recall.  Something to do with the cable that links the gear shifter to the transmission.  We then found out that wasn’t the issue.  The garage has been great, but they were busy all week.  As a side note, maybe it is a good sign if your garage is always busy??  Anyway, the following week they figured out the problem and ordered the part.  The part wasn’t too expensive, but a lot of labor.  The garage called us at the end of the week to say the part won’t come in for about 10 days.  They had called junk yards and looked all over for a used part but had to order it from the dealership.  So now, we have to juggle all this car management for two more weeks.  Along with that, we have to figure out how we’re going to pay for this.

At the end of the two weeks, the garage calls again to say that with the dealership, the part is on backorder and won’t come in until sometime between October 12th and 20th.  So, now we’re looking at a few more weeks of juggling cars.  I asked the mechanic if I could locate the part somewhere else (junk yard, ebay, etc.) can I order it and have them install it.  They were happy to do that.  He showed me the part.  I went online and found the part, verified with the mechanic that it was the exact part needed, and then placed the order for it on October 3rd.  It would arrive on the 8th.  Also, at a fraction of the price from the dealership.  Over that next weekend, two different people (not connected to each other) gave us monetary gifts.  They said, “God put on our heart to give this to you.”  We hadn’t shared this need with anyone!  The total of the two gifts was enough to cover the cost of this work!  Isn’t that amazing!!

Then, on the 8th, instead of getting the part, I get an email saying it is on back order and won’t be shipped out to us until the 23rd.  Ugh!  More and more weeks of this car juggling.  A few days later, in the early morning hours, Matthea was awake and praying.  She said, “Father, it seems like very little is working out in our favor.  Can you somehow get us the car part faster?”  I didn’t know she had prayed that prayer.  Later in the day, I went online and checked with other part retailers and found it somewhere else.  I ordered the part, and it said it would be here on Tuesday the 15th!  20 minutes later, I get an email from the first place I ordered, and it said the part was shipped and I would receive it on the 15th!  When I told Matthea that we now have 2 parts coming, both arriving the 15th, she told me of her prayer!  As I sit here this morning and type this, there are two parts arriving in the next hour!  Carter is at the house today, and if all works out right, he will be able to have his car back and drive his car to back to college!

I said this was a story of God’s provision.  Here’s what He is showing us.  First, He knows everything.  Second, His timing is always right.  Third, all things are His.  The Bible teaches us to view every possession as belonging to the Lord.  I have prayed, “Lord, your car has a broken part, and it needs to be replaced.”  Fourth, God meets our needs.  Yes, we could pay for the repair, but God put on the hearts of two different people to meet our need.  Fifth, we must wait on the Lord.  I went ahead and ordered the part from another retailer, but the one I originally ordered was being shipped out early!  God was taking care of it.  He didn’t need my help!

I don’t know what you’re facing.  I don’t know what things He has told you to wait on.  I don’t know what needs you have.  But I do know this…God knows.  God sees.  God has a plan.  God’s timing is always perfect. 

How to Resist the Devil: Lessons from 1 Peter 5

This passage in 1 Peter 5:6-11 has been on my mind lately.How to avoid being devoured.

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Verse 8 is a familiar verse. Our adversary is seeking someone to devour. But look at this in the context. Peter lets us know who is more likely to be devoured. Who is that? The one who is not humble, but prideful. Maybe you say, “the devil could never fool me.” Be humble and don’t think you could never be fooled.

What other times do we become an easy target? When we are anxious. Peter says to cast our anxieties on to the Lord. When we are anxious, we are afraid and worried. Often we are worried about the wrong things! Then in verse 8 he says to be sober-minded and watchful. In other words, we are to be paying attention. The predator seeks prey who is not paying attention. The one who thinks they will never be the prey is the first to be devoured.

When else are we susceptible to being devoured? When we think our situation is the worst of all. Peter reminds us that our suffering is common to the believer. We can become an easy target when we suffer. The best way to approach our suffering, is to keep our eyes on Jesus. Peter tells us that after “a little while” (who knows how long that may be) God will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.

So be humble, don’t be anxious, be watchful, and keep your eyes on Jesus. This is the best way to avoid being devoured by the enemy. Walk closely with Jesus. Know that you have an enemy. But, even more, know that Jesus is the victory!

Simple Obedience

“And when he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.’ And Simon answered, ‘Master, we toiled all night and took nothing! But at your word I will let down the nets.’ And when they had done this, they enclosed a large number of fish, and their nets were breaking.” Luke 5:4-6

Simple steps of obedience to the Lord leads us to where He would have us. Simon said, “we know what we’re doing and we have caught nothing.” But, they didn’t rely on their own wisdom and knowledge. They trusted Jesus and obeyed Jesus. Then, they caught more fish than they could handle.

After this, Simon bowed down to worship Jesus. He told them they would be fishers of men. Verse 11 says “they left everything and followed Him.” They had seen the power and authority of Jesus…why wouldn’t they follow Him? Who else would they follow. These experienced fishermen realized they were in the presence of someone far more knowledgable than they were. Their response was to leave everything (including the bog haul of fish) and follow Jesus.

Simple obedience leads us to the places He would have us go! Are you following Him? Are you obeying Him?

God is for me

In Psalm 56, David cried out to the Lord. In this psalm, like so many others, David cries out to the Lord in his distress. King David had enemies that wanted to destroy his life. The first verse opens with him asking God to be gracious. He was going through a hard time and starts by asking for God’s grace. He goes on to say that his attackers are oppressing him and he is being trampled and attacked. However, in verses 3 and 4 he says, he puts his trust completely in God. David knew he could trust in the Lord regardless of what his circumstances looked like.

David was in a difficult place. In verses 5-7 he says that his enemies plot evil against him, stir up strife against him, watch his every move, and look for his downfall. David asks God why it seems they are getting away with their behavior. Again, he cries out to the Lord to do something about it.

He continues in his prayer to acknowledge that God knows everything. In verse 8 he says God even knows of his tossing around in those sleepless nights. He reminds himself that God knows everything in his life. He prays that those enemies will turn back. David then says in verse 9 “This I know, that God is for me.”

Like many of his other psalms, there is a turning point. David focuses on the Lord. He focuses on what God desires from him. Verse 10 he says he will praise God. In verse 11 he says he will trust God and not be afraid. With God watching over him he asks, “what can man do to me?”

In verses 12-13 David says that he will keep his promises to the Lord and continue to serve Him. David acknowledges that God has already delivered his soul from death and kept his feet from falling. If God has already done this, how will He not continue to take care of David? Paul’s words in Romans 5:8-11 come to mind:

8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Have you ever felt like David? You’re all alone and suffering while your enemies are flourishing? Paul reminds us in Ephesians 6:12 that our enemy is not another person, but spiritual forces of evil. As a believer, you have an enemy, the evil one. In this life there will be times you feel like David. You see the enemy appearing to do just fine while he is causing your life to be a mess! What are you to do? Cry out to the Lord like David did.

The flow of this psalm is a good model for prayer. First, recognize you need mercy from God. Second, tell Him what is going on and how you feel about it. He can relate. Third, acknowledge God’s power in your life. Fourth, praise God for what He has already done in your life.

This may not change your situation. It will refocus your thoughts on the Lord. If you are a believer, you are a child of God. He is for you.

It has purpose!

Isaiah 55:10-11 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

God’s Word accomplishes the purpose for which it was sent. Why was it sent? We have God’s Word so that we know Him, His plan of salvation through Jesus, His love for us, His faithfulness, and His character. That is the purpose. We have His word so that we can be taught, reproved, corrected, and trained in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). That is why we have the Bible.

God gave us His Word for a purpose. It doesn’t tell us all we want to know. It doesn’t answer every question that we have. It does tell us about God. We learn about Him. We have the incredible opportunity to hear from Him every time we open His Word and read it.

Yesterday we got a TON of rain! Its purpose is to nourish the ground, to bring forth food, to sustain our very lives. God said to his people, “just like the rain has purpose, my Word has purpose.” Take time each day to read His Word. He sent it with a purpose. It accomplishes much. New rain on dry and weary land is refreshing. His Word is refreshing to a dry and weary soul. However, you have to read it, hear it, and see Him in it!