Today marks 2 years since our lives were ripped open, torn upside down, and we joined a club no one wants to be part of. It was June 20, 2014 when we went to the OB Doctor expecting our son Kai to be born any day. His due date was only 5 days away and we were at our usual 39-week appointment. That’s when we discovered there was no heartbeat. Kai was dead.
Words still cannot describe the devastation. I cannot imagine pain harder than the pain of losing your own child. It isn’t supposed to happen. Today is the 2-year anniversary of his death. I can say the second year has been easier than the first year. It has been quite the journey. We had people who walked through the time with us and held our hand and prayed for and with us. We also had people who meant well but said very hurtful things. I may one day write a post in what to say and what not to say to grieving parents, but there’s plenty out there already. Our experience was like that of most others. I write about the journey 5 months in. You can read that post here.
These 2 years have taught us many lessons. One of the many lessons from the Lord is this simple truth…God is good. He is always good. In the American church we try to act like God’s desire is to be free from hurt and pain. We act as if happiness is the highest virtue. We are afraid of people’s sorrow and grief, so we avoid them. Or worse, we try to pray it away. The heart of the matter is this…we wrestle with the question of the goodness of God. The enemy, Satan, is a liar. Jesus calls him the father of lies in John 8. When we face hard times, he tells us that God is not good. It goes something like this, “God let this bad thing happen. You see, God is not good”. If we buy into that lie, we get angry at God for what has gone wrong.
The reality is that sin entered the world long ago. Sin brought with it death and destruction. When death happens we can confidently say “it isn’t supposed to be this way”. In God’s original design there was no sin, no pain, no death. But sin has affected everything. When we see sin, pain, and death it should remind us that this isn’t God’s original design. He is good. He allows sin, pain, and death. After all, His Son experienced pain and death on our behalf. Only Jesus sets everything right. The Bible says that one day, Jesus will set everything right. One day there will be a new Heaven and new earth. One day there will be no more tears and no more death. Until that time, we must hold on to the goodness of God.
In the midst of our pain some days the only thing we could hold on to was His goodness. We questioned it at times. But we always came back to the truth of His goodness. If you are in a dark place, remember that He is good. He is always good. He allows pain in our lives for His reason. He determines the limits. He does this for reasons that only He knows.
We are at the beach this week. In fact, the same beach where we were 12 months ago. I snapped this picture this morning as I walked on the shore. Several places in the Scriptures we are told that God sets the limits for the edges of the seas. It is a lesson in His power. After my walk I was reading the Bible app and the verse of the day was about His goodness. Whatever you are facing, thank Him because He is good.