This past Sunday, as part of the “All Things New” series, I talked about God’s abundance when it looks hopeless. We looked at the widow woman who never ran out of flour and oil during the famine. One thing that stands out to me is how the Lord has a storehouse of abundance with our name on it, but He gives it one day at a time!!
Today we looked at the life of Joseph in the book of Genesis. He came from a broken and dysfunctional family…however God used him. God can use anyone from any family for His Kingdom.
Over Thanksgiving weekend, I began to think about my son. Not Carter with his technical know-hows, not Caleb with his contagious smile, and not Christian with his intense desire to become Captain America. No, my other son Kai. He would be 5 months old now. June 20, 2014 is the day he was born. It is also the day he died. The doctors don’t know why he died. We don’t either. On that morning we went to the doctor for the routine 39 week check-up. Matthea and I were laughing and filled with anticipation as we waited for the mid-wife to come into the exam room. This day would be like no other day in our lives. Our laughter quickly turned to horror. Before we could comprehend what was happening we were ushered into the ultrasound room. The mid-wife applied the gel on Matthea’s belly and we saw Kai on the screen. There was no sound of a beating heart. No movement in his chest. Nothing. No more laughter. No more anticipation. Just horror. By the next afternoon Matthea and I were walking in to the funeral home to make arrangements for Kai’s cremation and memorial service. Going to a funeral home is always unexpected. As a pastor, I have been to the funeral home too many times to count. Never was it so difficult to walk through those doors. Even now I can still smell the furniture in the funeral director’s office.
That was 5 months ago. I can remember vivid details as if it just happened. I so desperately want to forget all of it…but also I so desperately want to remember every single part of it. I haven’t written much about it Kai in these 5 months. Matthea has written several powerful posts that you can read here. It even took me a few weeks to speak the words, “my child died.” If you have ever said those words you know the pain they bring. In fact, the words don’t do it justice. In the English language, we have a word for someone whose spouse dies (widow or widower), and someone whose parents die (orphan). There is no word for someone who buries their child. It isn’t supposed to happen. Of course what bad things are “supposed” to happen?
The bad things do happen. The hard things happen in life. If anyone told you that becoming a follower of Jesus would mean that no bad things happen…well, they lied to you. Life happens. Life has the good and the bad. The ups and the downs. Being a follower of Jesus means that you have a relationship with the author and creator of life. He doesn’t spare us the hurts and the sorrows that everyone experiences. We wish He would. Sometimes. The reality is that we can really learn and really grow in the hard times. Somehow through our pain we can see Him in new ways. We see His love in new ways. We see other people in new ways.
The key to growing in our pain is simply to embrace it. In the American church culture we are almost taught to pretend the pain isn’t there. We are taught to put on a mask. Someone asks “how are you?” and we are supposed to say “I’m good. How are you?” I have been part of churches with good mask-wearing people. Mask-wearers face many dangers. Mask-wearing is a 2-edged sword. On one side, we don’t embrace our own struggles. We don’t acknowledge the reality of our situation. On the other side we feel isolated. When everyone is wearing masks we think we are the only one with struggles. I have seen this played out too many times in the people’s lives. Take off your mask. Be honest. Embrace your reality. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be shocked when someone removes their mask. In fact, unmasking is contagious!
I thank God for bringing people into my life who allow me to take off my masks. To be open and honest. I thank God for my wife. As we journey together we grow together and heal together. I thank God for my church family. Are we perfect? No (this is because our church is made up of imperfect people). Our church family is journeying together through life. I thank God for people in our church who are not afraid to remove their masks and share their pain. As we do that together, we heal together and we see Jesus at the center of our healing. When a group of people walk together through healing, we can all lean on each other. It is a beautiful thing. God created us to be in relationship with Jesus and in relationship with one another.
The picture below shows what was hung outside our hospital room in the labor and delivery unit on June 20th. You see, in the labor and delivery unit, there is excitement and anticipation. Each person coming into the room, whether nurse, or staff, or housekeeping, is happy for you. They are excited too. Every once in a while there is a family in the labor room who has no excitement. There is no anticipation. There is no laughter. There are only tears. The staff hang these on the door so that all who enter know what’s behind the door. I wish we could make these for people to wear as necklaces. We all have days we need to let others know what is happening behind the door of our heart. You can take off your mask. It is safe.
I was thinking today how spoiled we are as Americans. I don’t think there is anywhere else in the world where you can buy these items in the same store. No wonder we are lazy people. We have spoiled ourselves. Do I really need to buy fresh-cut roses, dog food, a gallon of milk, bed linens, a game of monopoly, shoes, a pumpkin spice latte, and bag of fresh popcorn in the same store? I appreciate it. But wow, we can be spoiled people.
Life has ups and downs. At some points you may feel like there won’t be any more “ups”…only “downs” for you. Or, you may feel the opposite way. Everything is going great and you can’t imagine things being worse. Too often we measure our happiness and contentment by our circumstances. This is a dangerous measure. Circumstances can change in a flash. You get that phone call that changes everything. A relationship ends. Any number of things can change circumstances.
If you are a follower of Christ, you cannot find your happiness and contentment in circumstances. You must find it in the Lord. Paul writes these words in Philippians 4:11 “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” The word Paul uses means to learn from experience. Paul didn’t read in a book that he should be content in all things, he learned through experience. Paul had his ups and downs. He saw Jesus face-to-face. He saw God’s hand move in mighty ways in his ministry. He was also beaten, shipwrecked, imprisoned, and stoned for the Gospel ministry. Through all this and more he learned to be content. He knew God was in control regardless of the circumstances in his life. Through his experiences he saw God’s faithfulness and he saw God meet his needs every single time.
The key for us is not only to read these words from Paul, but to see our life experiences through the lens of God’s perfect provision. All that He desires from us is contentment in Him. Because of Him, we can be content…not because of out situations but because He is faithful every time.
I learned a great lesson yesterday in our front yard. We have been in our house for almost 18 months. When the house house was built in 2007, they installed an underground irrigation system. The previous owners never used it and subsequently had the backflow-preventer taken out and the water supply capped off.. We decided that we wanted to start using the irrigation for our lawn, vegetable garden, and roses. Last week we had a plumber re-install the backflow-preventer and turn the system back on.
I am no expert in plumbing, gardening, lawn-care, or irrigation systems. I asked the plumber how I could best locate the sprinkler heads. You see, I have been mowing the lawn for 2 summers now and have never seen a sprinkler head. I assumed that many of them have been buried after 7 years of sitting dormant in the ground. The plumber was kind to me in my ignorance. He said, “if you want to locate the sprinklers, just turn the system on.” Could it really be that simple? I mean, I had looked and yet never found a single sprinkler head…not even evidence of a sprinkler head. Yesterday afternoon, in the 97 degree heat, I went to the control panel and turned the system on. I could hear the water start to rush through the pipes right under my feet. All of the sudden, out of nowhere, sprinkler head popped up out of the ground. Cold, fresh water was spraying everywhere throughout the yard! Every sprinkler head popped up, with about 2-3 inches of dirt on their tops.
Not only was water covering the lawn, each sprinkler was doing as it had been designed years ago. Some rotated 360 degrees, some 180 degrees, and some 90 degrees. No water got on the side of the house or on the back deck. Some sprinkler heads shot streams of water 25 feet! Others had what appeared to be a small mist. Still others came up at an angle to water the flower beds! It was amazing to stand back and watch this all occur. In total, there are about 25 sprinkler heads in the yard. Each positioned correctly and designed to operate as needed in its’ location.
Here’s the lesson. The pipes had been laid underground. The 25 sprinkler heads were in their proper locations, ready to do exactly what they need to do. The entire system lacked one thing. WATER. Not just water for water’s sake. In order to work properly, the system needed water, with high pressure. You see, once the plumber hooked the system up and I turned it on, the water flowed to each sprinkler head. There was enough power to make all 25 pop up out of the ground and do their thing! I had never before seen ANY of these sprinklers. In Ephesians 1:18-21 Paul prays that our eyes would be open to know the immeasurable greatness of God’s power to those who believe…power that raised Jesus from the dead. If you are a follower of Christ, you have everything in place to see His power flow through you. His power can even cause things to spring up within you that you never knew were there!! That is the beauty of His grace to you and me. Coming to Christ for salvation is like having the plumber connect you to the water source. Now, everything is in place and ready to be used. As followers of Christ, we then allow His power flow through us. Once we do that, we are useful for Him exactly as He desires to use us. If we are all doing as He planned, we cover all the ground He wants to cover for His glory. We can be useful by His own design.
This morning I went into the kitchen to start some coffee. I looked out the window to get a view of our vegetable garden. This summer has been a battle between the deer and me. They have gotten in 4 different times. Each time, they wipe out most every tomato, pepper, and bean. This morning, I couldn’t see the garden. Our little veggie garden sits about 25 feet from the kitchen window. I knew where to look, but I couldn’t see it. It was there. The sun had come up. I couldn’t see it because of the fog.
It made me think how many times in our lives can we see the fog. We can only see the fog. We can’t see anything else but the fog. We know other things must be there…but all we see is fog. I started the coffee and went into my office. I heard the pot make the bubbling sound that tells me the coffee is finished brewing. I went back into the kitchen and looked again towards the garden. This time, the fog was completely gone! Not a drop of vapor left in the air. In life, God brings us to places and all we can see is the fog. We can’t see what else is actually there. We can’t see any other reality but the fog. Then, in a moment, the fog lifts. It goes away. When that happens, we can see with clarity.
May God help us to trust His leading when all we see is the fog. May God strengthen our faith through the fog of life. Fog is only a mist, a vapor that appears when the conditions are right. At the perfect moment, it goes away. If you’re in the fog now, hang in there. Fog doesn’t last forever. Hear His voice and trust His leading.
Recently I have noticed two things that happen simultaneously in our lives. One is that God is always working in our lives. He is always seeking to grow us, teach us, stretch our faith, and display His glory in and through our lives. The second is that He does this primarily by using people. God accomplishes His work through people. He does His Kingdom work through people. He works in our lives through people.
God uses people in positive ways and in “negative” ways. It is easy to see how He uses people in positive ways. We see their encouragement, their love and care for us, and their friendship. It is easy for us to see how God uses them for our good and for our growth. However, He also uses people in “negative” ways. Negative in the sense that they may discourage us. Negative in the sense that they may persecute us. Negative in the sense that they work to make our life difficult. We have to recognize that God is still working. He wants us to learn and grow…even through using people in a “negative” way in our life. Remember, nothing happens to you or me that God does not allow. We all live in a sinful world with sinful people (like us). Our behavior may rub someone the wrong way and they may rub us the wrong way. The good news is that we can still learn and grow through those interactions. God can still teach us through them.
Remember, it is God who works in our life to make us more like Jesus. How has He used you in people’s lives? How has He used others in your life? Have you told them? Have you let them know that God has used them in your life?
I preached on June 8th about the need for obedience and faith to work together for us as believers. We looked at the crossing of the Jordan River from Joshua 3.
The following week was Father’s Day and I preached from Joshua 4 when they set up the stones as a memorial of what the Lord had done.
A Pastor's Thoughts 